This evening we celebrated my birthday together with Joseph’s, my youngest son. His birthday was yesterday, 22nd of July.
At Flamingg Mangos Restaurant , Jalan Malu-malu Sembawang Springs Estate
Nine years ago this evening, I spent my birthday in the hospital ward of Thomson Medical Centre with my wife. She was recovering from an ordeal the day before after delivering Joseph.
Joseph’s delivery had been smooth. After the delivery, mother and my newly minted baby were wheeled back to their respective rooms and my wife’s gynecologist had gone home.
Then, the struggle against a potential life threatening condition began. She developed postpartum hemorrhage, which is excessive bleeding after delivery of a child. Not treated immediately, it could have led to the death of my wife.
Thankfully for some reasons, her gynecologist Dr Yvonne Chan came back to the hospital to check on her. This was not a usual practice for gynecologists following a delivery as nurses are sufficiently trained to provide post-delivery care. We learned from her months later after the ordeal that she had prompting in her heart that night to return to the hospital to check on my wife.
Thank God she responded to this prompting. Her return was timely just as the bleeding began.
I had no clue to the severity of what was happening other than my wife’s bleeding had not stopped after delivery. I was informed by Dr Chan that my wife needed to be wheeled back to the delivery room to stop the bleeding. Looking back, I remembered that I was at a loss of how to react. To panic or to remain calm?
Dr Chan however, was composed throughout as she went about her “business”. Periodically, Dr Chan would ask to see me to update the situation, always in a relaxed manner.
A few hours later, my wife’s condition stabilized and she was returned to her bed. It was during the same conversation we had with Dr Chan months later that we learned from her that the most straightforward way to stop the bleeding that night was to remove the womb. This decision would have been less difficult taking into consideration that by then, my wife and I already had 3 children. After all, the life of my wife was the priority.
However, Dr Chan was determined (and I’m sure confident) to save both the womb and my wife. She stopped the bleeding by massaging the womb for hours.
We thank God for Dr Chan and above all, we thank God.
After her physical struggle against potential death, my wife faced a different kind of struggle whilst recovering in her room. Little had I realized that on the night of my birthday with her beside her bed, she had been battling against the fear of death.
I remember on that night – she turned to me almost apologetically and commented that I had to spend my birthday with her in hospital. Ofcourse it did not matter and I told her so.
Some consider fear an emotion while others believe it to be a spirit. For my wife, the fear she had to face was certainly very real and tormenting. Fear was attempting to consume her sanity. Having a Christina faith, she battled the fear with the most and only effective weapon available that she was familiar with – prayer. Very intense prayers.
She fought, overcame and became a testimony to many fighting fears in their lives.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” The Holy Bible, Psalm 23:4
Because of Joseph’s cesarean birth and the post delivery emergency, the medical bill had been very substantial. After deduction through Medisave and a goodwill discount from Dr Chan (she had delivered all three of our boys), the bill still came to seven thousand dollars.
At that time, it was a huge sum of money to me. I guess as I walked to the cashier on the day of discharge, I was just going to pay through a couple of credit cards and then figure out the source of repayment later.
Lo and behold – at the cashier counter I notice a small display informing of a one-year interest-free installment scheme offered by a particular credit card which I held.
Praised God! I was thankful for credit cards! (Disclaimer: use credit cards in a wise and sensible manner and always repay fully on-time!)
I occasionally like to joke and introduce Joseph as my seventeen thousand dollars child!
Joseph, just like his two elder brothers, has been a delight to my wife and I. He is well rounded with many interests, conscientious, respectful and with a hint of occasional cheekiness.
I decided on his name after much prayer. It was a close call between Joshua and Joseph. Reason was simple: my eldest son and I are named after two archangels of the Bible: Michael and Gabriel. My second son’s name is Caleb. In the Bible, the Israelite entered the promise land led by two key leaders: Joshua and Caleb. Yet, I also liked another Bible character: Joseph. That Joseph had to go through a series of painful trails (betrayal and being forgotten) and yet remain faithful and conscientious throughout and became the second most powerful man in Egypt.
I was deliberating for quite a while: will it be Joshua or Joseph?; both equally “powerful” names. Then, one night I was listening to a preacher at a Christian conference. I was tired that evening and I fell asleep halfway through the sermon (confession time!). But for some reasons, just when the preacher was explaining the meaning of the name “Joseph”, I awoke suddenly! And just in time to catch her explained that Joseph means “fruitful vine”.
That was enough to seal the deal. Son number three will be named Joseph. I wanted him to be fruitful in all that he does.
Indeed, our son Joseph has been fruitful. But more than just fruitful performance, my wife and my wishes for Joseph is that he will be of good character just like the Joseph of the Bible. Throughout the life struggles of the Biblical Joseph, a few things stood out: he was faithful in all the duties given to him no matter how mundane (he became a servant as a result of betrayal from his own siblings and then a prisoner for a crime he did not commit before becoming number two to Pharaoh), he never gave up his dreams (indeed he is contemporary referred to as Joseph the Dreamer) and finally he learned to forgive and saw the silver linings in his troubles.
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” The Holy Bible, Genesis 50:20
And above all, throughout his life, it was written a number of times that The Spirit of God was with Joseph.
Indeed, the Spirit of God was there at the hospital ward when my wife had to go through the ordeal after delivery. And the Spirit of God continued to be with Joseph as we saw him grow over the last nine years. One time, he fell from his cot and hit head first the flooring. Our hearts dropped but we could only commit to God and trust that there would not be any devastating injury to Joseph. God is good and Joseph has grown to be an active and happy child.
On this day, we celebrate not only Joseph and my birthday – above all we celebrate God and His goodness in our lives!
Happy Birthday Jo!