Author Archives: Gabriel

The Motorcycle Incident

The incident happened 3 years ago in late July of 2012.

I was about to leave the gym when I received an SMS message that said Michael had met with an accident. At first, I thought it was a colleague at that time by that name. Soon, after noticing that the sender was my wife, it sunk into my system that it was my 13 year old.

My heart beat and mind raced and I quickly called my wife to find out the situation.

After confirming the hospital that Mike would be sent to, KKH, I made my way, at the same time telling myself to remain clam. God is in control, everything will be fine.

However, I found myself lost en-route from Raffles Place to KKH as a result of my increasing concern. I somehow ended up at Robin Road, a minor road I did not even know existed at that time, off Bukit Timah Road, Steadying myself, I re-orientated my whereabouts with the GPS on my phone and made another attempt to KKH.

Arriving at KKH, wife was solemn but I knew she was controlling her emotions. When a mutual friend came, that’s when she broke down.

When we got to see Mike in the emergency room, he was belted up on the ambulance bed. He was not only conscious, he was very talkative! When he saw me, he asked with a cool American slang: “Hey Dad, whatcha doin’ here?”

Not being mentally prepared for such a reaction, I replied sternly: “Michael, stop it”.

It was only later that I realized this was his way of calming himself down. He had been extremely talkative with the doctors and nurses throughout his recovery in the hospital stay, almost recounting his entire life stories to them!

At the beginning of the recovery.

Here is his account:

The date has faded from memory, but the scene is still fresh in my brain. It was a gloomy day, complete with grey skies and weariness. I had a busy and hectic day and wished to return home at the fastest possible rate. Exhaustion had brought my mind and body into a drunken state. I was not fully aware of what I was doing. Instinct was what was leading my body, any sense of logic and thought had disappeared. Little did I realize that something dramatic would happen to me that day. Of all days I would have never expected that day to be one of drama.

School that day had been especially stressful. I had a ton of Chinese homework piled up, and I was practicing hard for a CCA competition. Any energy I had, had been spent and I now was running on fumes. Eager to get home, I ditched my usual routine in favour of taking a bus which had been recommended to me and was said to be faster. I had alighted at a bus stop in front of my block more anxious than ever to get home. But there was only one problem. In front of me was a long stretch of road with my house the other side. The problem was that there was not one traffic light to be seen! I, being in the “drunken” state I was, gave not one thought to this and simply dashed across.

The first time I attempted to dash across, a car sped in front of the path I would have taken. I am convinced to this day that that car would have taken my life. But despite near-death, I was not deterred. I ran out again. And as I charged out, a voice was calling to me. I turned my head in its direction, and lo and behold, a motorcycle was headed straight for me! One will expect me to have felt afraid, but I assure you I felt nothing. Not a drop of fear. In fact, there was a sense of calmed that seemed to have come over me. The incoming motorcycle did not slow down, there was neither time nor space to do that. So it sped towards me, and as this happened, time both slowed down and sped up at the same time. Such sensations cannot be described with mere words. In that moment, eternity passed in a second.

What I remember next is the sensation of flying. But it was not graceful gliding, it was rough, with my body twisting and turning, as though I had been a rag doll that had been flung away by a child. I found myself lying on my back, facing that grey, gloomy, sky. By now I woke up, not physically for I had not passed out, but rather I woke up in a spiritual sense, for until that moment, my body had been there but not my mind, which might explain why I felt nothing as I saw the motorcycle speeding towards me. Now that my spirit had returned to my body, I panicked.

My first reaction was to repeatedly call out to God to help me. His help came in the form of four men who rushed over, and after asking if I was alright, lifted me up from the ground and carried me to the side of the road, with me praying as they carried me, and lay me down, using my bag as a pillow. Amazingly, or rather miraculously, I felt no pain, even though I had felt panic a few moments before. Now I regained my senses, and begun to think clearly. Realizing what had happened, I asked for a phone to call my mother. I called and told her that I was fine, and that the accident was not a major one. At least, that was what thought. My mother later told me that I was covered in blood, and looked anything but fine.

Two girls from my school were there, and asked me who my form teacher was. After I told them they called her down. It was peculiar, so many people were standing around me trying to help. And all the while I just lay there, talking to some of them to calm and distract myself. My mother came down and we talked, about what I have long forgotten. The ambulance arrived and raced me to the hospital.

To the amazement of the doctors there, I had sustained no broken bones, having received only skin wounds. The time I spent in the hospital was bliss, a release from my duties at school. Following my discharge, I spent two weeks at home, reflecting upon what had happened. I knew and believed that God had protected me during that one moment where I could have sustained much worse injuries. That experience has strengthened my religious beliefs and I am grateful for that encounter.

The bible tells us in John 16:33, “…Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

In the mist of this family challenge, we indeed saw the hands of God on our circumstances. In fact, Mike recounted that at the point of the impact with the motorbike, he felt as if a cushion had come in-between himself and the motorbike.

Having flung about one car’s length as a result of the impact, it was quite miraculous that he did not sustain any broken bones or internal injuries. This trial gave him the opportunity of learning how to overcome the negative emotions that accompanies life’s tragedies.

In spite of his general positive response, there was a point during the 1 week hospital stay where he become down. I had the opportunity then to give him a sort of “Brave Heart type” victory speech an Army General would give to his troops before battle, to shore up Mike’s confidence and fighting spirit. I think it helped afterwards.

During Mike’s recovery at the hospital, we even found time to celebrate his youngest brother’s birthday.

The recovery was wonderfully speedy. By about a week at the hospital, he was discharged. He took about a further two week to reach complete recovery at home.

Fast recovery at the hospital

Relaxing together after the storm

Getting ready to go home

His favorite photo. After being fussed over for a week, he was reluctant to be discharged!

One injury he did sustain till today is the partial loss of vision, about one third of an area from top of his left eye. Mom, being the prayer warrior that she is, continues to believe for a complete healing. Dad, being the stubborn battler of life’s difficulties, believes that in spite of this small impairment, it will in no way affect his success in life. There is nothing to feel sorry about.

James 1:2-4 says: “Dear brothers and sisters,a when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

Whether we like it or not, the reality is that troubles will come along this journey call life. Rather than trying to find ways to avoid or get out of these trials, let’s find ways through the trials.

Soon after

For us, God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good!

Help Your Child To Become A GREAT Speaker

The fear of public speaking has oftentimes been ranked as one of our top phobias.

Google on the topics of fears; death and public speaking are almost sure to make the top 5 fears.

Why is it that many of us fear speaking in front of an audience? I believe it boils down to an overwhelming sense of self-consciousnesses; afraid of making fool of ourselves in front of an audience; being concern about what others might think of us rather than how we can impact others with what we have to say.

Yet, the ability to communicate; one-to-one and one-to-many is a critical skill-set to our public success.

Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman in their article “The Skills Leaders Need at Every Level” ranked the ability to communicate powerfully and prolifically as one of the top 5 skills that leaders need to succeed.

This is my own observation after two decades in the corporate world: there are no shortage of talented and exceedingly smart people around. But good communicators are in short supply.

Many of us can be so much more successful with better communication skills, especially in front of a group. Unfortunately, majority of us just get by without much fun (and impact) while doing it. Some will avoid speaking at all cost.

Many public speeches are at best mediocre. Hence, many of us have come to expect that most speeches will be boring.

The irony is this: there are individuals who are able to get ahead of their smarter peers simple because they can deliver more impactful speeches and presentations.

Bottom-line, like it or not, we need to speak well.

And, we need to help our child to become better speaker as well.

Its a huge topic. Public speaking training is an industry on its own. In this post, I will focus on one aspect: using acting to build public speaking skill.

A number of years back, I attended a “High Impact Presentations” training by Dale Carnegie Training. During one of the modules, we were given a task to read articles in front of our peers in the most exaggerated and animated manner that we could. The difficulty was this: the articles were utterly dry ranging from astronomy to chemistry and other scientific topics that will put most of us to sleep. The challenge: we need to stretch our presentation as far as we could to the end of the scale in terms of being exaggerated and the benchmark given to us was the actor Jim Carrey. We had fun!

The learning point was this: we cannot possibly be acting like Jim Carrey all the time. We need to adjust our presentations to the level of appropriateness according to the audience and occasion. However, the wider the range we have to play with, the more flexibility we will have as a speaker. In other words, we will have greater capacity to be more interesting.

At the same time, we learned that even a serious presentation such as delivering a scientific paper to an esteemed audience need not be boring as many would come to expect.

That was my first encounter in using acting to improve public speaking.

There was a lecturer when I was a student at the Singapore Polytechnic whom I will never forget. He was assigned to teach probably the driest subject in our computer programming course: Machine Language; aka binary 10011001010. Well, few of us slept during his lessons simply because short as his stature may be, he acted out to us what happened inside a computer system when computers “talk” to each other as if every components involved were alive!

Have a look at this video. This MIT physics professor has taken fun way of delivering his lessons to the edge:

Professor Walter Lewin prepares and dry-runs his lecture before his class like a performance. In other words, like an actor or stage performer.

Actors are trained to use their five senses to focus and have a better sense of self-awareness and environment as well as build their presence; all essential ingredient of a good public speaker.

Actors are trained to prepare for every scene and to be deliberate in their thoughts and actions; that is every gesture and movement has a purpose.

So as parents, consider training up your child’s speaking ability though the craft of acting. It is much more than just an extra-curricular activity to occupy them during the holiday.

I wrote an earlier post about my eldest son’s interest in pursuing acting as a career here. The training he received and his own interest has helped him in his emceeing in school as well. One teacher commented to my wife and me once that when Michael was doing “his thing” on stage, “that was his moment”.

National Education Ambassador, Michael Lee delivering a
Total Defence Day Speech on Civil Defence at Woodgrove Secondary School

Source

Since then, he has attended many more classes at Haque Centre of Acting and Creativity (HCAC). In fact, HCAC offers a Theatre Incubator for Teenagers programme as well as Acting 101 which I can highly recommend. Check out their schedules here.

I think it is reasonable to say that academic excellence alone will not guarantee success in career. Most of us are aware that soft skills are critical as well.

So look beyond just the regular tuition. Build your child’s confidence in speaking before an audience by investing in good quality acting programmes that are available in the market. Your child can become the inspiring leader you see him/her to be.

…And yes, funny man Jim Carrey is not only a great actor, he is great speaker as well and proves here that an often serious event like graduation do not necessary need to be typically solemn like the many that I have attended:

To Be Or Not To Be A University Graduate?

This has been a hot topic in Singapore recently.

In August of 2014, during a dialogue session with students pertaining to the necessity of a university degree in Singapore, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong commented that a university degree need not be the only route to a fulfilling career for young Singaporeans.

Prime Minister Lee said: “The answer will vary with each person. It depends on your interest, depends on your aptitude, depends on whether you are an academic type or not, depends whether you want to start getting experience, and then you can build up based on that, and study, and gain further education and qualification later on.”

This sounded like a sensible advice.

However, other messages from Mr Lee’s fellow Ministers seem rather overzealous at times.

For example, in May 2013, National Development Minister Khaw Boon Wan commented that Singaporeans do not need to be university graduates to be successful and that what is more important is that they get good jobs after leaving school.

“If they cannot find jobs, what is the point? You own a degree, but so what? That you can’t eat it. If that cannot give you a good life, a good job, it is meaningless,” he said.

Wow. Where did that philosophy come from??

While one or two points he made are worth chewing on, but sorry Minister, I humbly disagree with your view that an education is meaningless if it does not lead to a job, good or otherwise.

I think this view is rather one dimensional at best.

It devalues the meaning of higher education to the sole purpose of economics. Society, life and learning are more just about economics.

Some of us actually pursue a course of study for passions that may not see immediate economic returns.

2014 Nobel Peace Prize co-winner Kailash Satyarthi commented: “The objective of education is basically to discover the human quality and potential of every single human being, community, and the entire world. Eventually this potential should be transmitted to the betterment of the world. Helping each other,”

I guess our government has always taken a pragmatic approach to social engineering.

What our government worries about in this case is highlighted by Minister Tan Chuan Jin, in March 2014 when he warned of a “potential graduate glut problem” in Singapore. This is a situation where countries such as China, South Korea and Taiwan are experiencing too many college graduates being produced with insufficient employment opportunities to meet the supply of graduates. I can agree that this is certainly a real problem.

And I think it is good that the government keeps the check on obsessive paper chase, not only by students themselves but their parents as well. However, one also has to ask how did we get to this situation in the first place?

On the other hand, so concerted were the messages which seek to de-emphasize the importance of a university degree in the last couple of years that many even in academia are confused.

Is our government now reversing the push for a knowledge-based economy and lifelong learning?

In came Mr Heng Swee Keat, Education Minister, who had to step forward in September 2014 to clarify that the government is not dissuading Singaporeans from getting degrees.

This assurance is certainly critical.

Our public servants must realize that their statements affect lives and especially our young ones. Some of our brightest are certainly capable of pursing a life calling in areas such as basic research. They must be encouraged to go as far as they can in pursue of higher education. And not settling merely for “just enough to make a living.” For others, a university education may not reap immediate returns but can certainly become useful in later years. There are others who have the capacity to excel but need a little push. You certainly would not want a Minister’s statement’s to become their excuse for not going as far as their talents can take them.

In a parliament session in September 2014, Chairman of the Workers’ Party and MP for Aljunied GRC, Sylvia Lim commented: “… we should be mindful that we do not inadvertently discourage individuals from pursuing higher academic qualifications just because of their starting point… Where an individual has good academic potential, he should be encouraged to pursue those goals.”

The environment changes over time and so will public policies. We certainly do not want our young to be caught stranded when a degree becomes a necessity in the future.

I like what American journalist Chris Hedges wrote: “We’ve bought into the idea that education is about training and “success”, defined monetarily, rather than learning to think critically and to challenge. We should not forget that the true purpose of education is to make minds, not careers. A culture that does not grasp the vital interplay between morality and power, which mistakes management techniques for wisdom, which fails to understand that the measure of a civilization is its compassion, not its speed or ability to consume, condemns itself to death.”

True education is about the development of our minds and an appreciation of the world. It is about impacting our world for the better.

Our government has narrowed education to the single purpose of getting good jobs. It’s a shallow view by any accounts that inevitably breeds materialism.

Singapore needs to move beyond such mentality to become an intellectually richer nation.

Mr Heng said something which is imperative: That while qualifications matter, “they must be the right qualifications and of the right standard for what we want to do. But not all qualifications matter — not if they do not help us build the right skills for what we want to do,”

His key words to me were: “what we want to do.”

Every one of us is born with unique talents.

If we truly want to become a great city, a one-size-fits–all educational approach will not do. Space should be provided for different talents to blossom. Otherwise, some of our talents will simply move overseas.

I propose that in guiding our children in their education journey and subsequently life pursuit, the starting point is not to ask if they should be or not be a university graduate. In fact, I would go as far as to say that we should not automatically assume that they should be a university graduates. I think this is the point our Ministers are trying to make.

So where do we start?

As parents, we need to be committed to be involved in the lives of our children and observe indications of their talents and gifts. There are many practical tools available. I wrote about one such toolkit HERE.

Once we are able to identify our children’s talents together with them, a path can then be chart to help develop their talents into strengths. And that path can certainly include a university degree where required.

The key, once again, is that each of our children is unique and we need help them to become who they have been wired to be. When our child is able to work towards doing what they love and what they do best every day, they become happy, fulfilled and confident individuals.

Our society becomes truly great when we have happy, fulfilled and confident citizens. At such a stage, there should be less worries about not having enough jobs for graduates.

This does not happen automatically but required the intervention and participation of schools and parents. Hence, the government’s initiative to offer better career guidance for students is definitely a step in the right direction. If done properly!

So while it is a good reminder that a university degree indeed is not everything, let’s not get overboard and say it’s meaningless if it does not lead to a good job.

Western Style Freedom of Speech, At What Price to Our Kids?

An article entitled, “Amos Yee: YouTube Star, Teen-Ager, Dissident”, by Nathan Heller was published in The New Yorker on April 10 2015.

In his article, the writer wrote in support of Amos Yee alluding that Amos “has all the hallmarks of a green and thriving mind”. By now, most would have been aware of the teenager in Singapore who posted a video online that insulted Christianity and the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

Amongst Nathan’s views on Singapore’s intolerance to free speech, he commented, “The citizens of developed nations in the twenty-first century should not need to be told that free expression is a basic attribute of political health”.

Having watched Amos Yee’s video clips, my conclusion is that this young man is unquestionably smart, extremely articulate, and possesses the charisma and qualities to becoming an influential leader. In fact, a few of Amos’s opinions on social issues were actually worth deliberating in public forums.

The matter that got Amos into trouble is his unrestrained personal character assignation of the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew, religious figure Jesus Christ and in his own words: “ how [swear word] delusional, and ignorant and stupid your parents are”. Against these individuals, he used vulgarities, offensive expressions and genital references that I believe even Nathan Heller would have trouble putting in print in The New Yorker.

As the video contains contents that are grossly inappropriate for this website, I have decided not to embed it into this post. It can however be easily searched on YouTube.

If one of the western markers for free speech includes the complete freedom to utter distasteful, rude and insulting words against another individual without fear of reproach, then Nathan is right. There is indeed limited freedom of speech in Singapore.

But Singapore has chosen the positive aspects of democracy and freedom of speech that comes with certain boundaries aimed, not to silence its citizens, but to build a harmonious multi-racial and multi-religious society where free speech is exercised with basic decency and mutual respect. This is true freedom. Fortunately, our system does not sanction the dressing of verbal bullying as free speech.

Source: U.S. National Archives and Records Administration

On the other hand, many casual observers in the western media have opted to critic Singapore’s stand through their own lenses. Many have taken the easy approach of publishing one-sided views. Many of the viewpoints lack objectivity while others are simply of very shallow substance written by opportunists who resorted to Singapore bashing in order to advance their self-centred agendas.

Sure, all of us may be entitled to our own opinions; political, religious and otherwise. But all of us must also be accorded the basic human rights of being treated with respect and decency.

In my last blog post that was written in tribute to the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew, I wrote of an experience I had many years back:

On a business trip to UK, I was walking along a busy street of the city of Manchester, home to the football club I have supported since a teenager (Manchester United).

I was with a dear Irish friend. As we were walking, I came across people standing by and holding placards, making noises and raising their voices. On the placards were distasteful, rude and insulting words describing certain leaders and politicians of another country. The people were name-calling these leaders with unflattering words such as “pigs”.

I have watched overseas demonstrations on television before, yet, at that moment I turned to my friend and ask him what was going on. His simple reply to me was: “freedom of speech”.

I remember very clearly, till this day, that I thought to myself there and then: “if this is democracy and this is what freedom of speech is about, then I don’t want democracy and freedom of speech”.

Well, ofcourse I do.

But I suppose what I really meant was I would not desire democracy and freedom of speech in the form that I witnessed that day. Obviously, every one of us is entitle to our own positions and views and I write this with no intent to damage the many overseas friendships that I have made and cherish over the years. But Singapore needs a democracy that is unique to her circumstances.

This is a major legacy that Mr Lee has left me and my fellow citizens. We can debate and disagree on policies and ideology. But we need to substantiate with facts and deliver in a respectable and honorably manner.

Sadly, today that brand of free speech which I witnessed has infiltrated many of our young’s minds. The internet has especially succeeded in spreading and deepening the influence.

As a parent, I can empathize with Amos’s parents of the difficulties that they must be going through now. As parents, we stand with them. The majority of parents today, my wife and I included, have to grapple with the adverse influence of the mass media on our children.

Amos will obviously need to learn the hard truth that one’s speech carries with it accountability.

“Freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from judgement”.

- Jackson Pearce

The majority of Singaporeans would like to see Amos being mentored properly so that his obvious fine talents and energies are channeled to good use, both for his family and his country.

The mass media has a profound influence on our minds. This is especially so among our young, all of whom need mentoring from their parents and teachers in discerning the rights from the wrongs; the acceptable from the undesirable. Even where many things in life may be permissible, yet not everything is beneficial.

Hence, early control of the kind of materials that our young are exposed to is critical to the kind of values that they will grow up with. This is particularly pronounced in art and entertainment resources such as video games, sitcoms and music. Once ingrained, they will become harder to intervene. Amos’ mother has admitted to not being able to control him while Amos himself seem to be relishing the limelight instead

“Control” seems to be a dirty word to the western media and despised as uncool by many of our young. Yet, the predicament that Amos Yee’s situation we are seeing is but one of countless examples of rising disrespect to parents, authorities and establishments.

I am glad that not everyone even in the west agrees with Nathan Heller’s viewpoints. I came across this blog post where the editor pointed out: “Speech, and writing, can have major consequences, and far-reaching ramifications, both good and bad. And the only way to guarantee the good is to use forms of expression that are respectful and non-offensive … to everyone concerned”.

Nathan Heller can certainly consider my view on rights and freedom to be backward. He has every right in his country to continue penning his casual opinions from a distance.

But Nathan Heller has no stake in the long-term interest of our country, families and children.

We are the guardians of the benefits that we have been blessed enough to inherited from our pioneer generation. And we are the mentors of the next generation.

It is we who must determine and decide for ourselves what will make the future of Singapore brighter than our past.

The Man We Call Father

It has been an unprecedented week in Singapore, probably never to happen again.

A little nation of 3.34 million Singapore citizens mourns the man whose legacy is Singapore, the Late Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

I have not been able to pen my personal tribute until now. The past week, I have been busy penning tributes on behalf of the organization I work for until the wee hours of the morning.

This morning, 29 March 2015, when the State Funeral for Mr Lee Kuan Yew will take place later in the afternoon, the occasion has come for me to honor Mr Lee with my very own tribute.

And this will be my longest blog post to date.

I want to start by recalling a little story that happened to me many years back in the early 2000s.

On a business trip to UK, I was walking along a busy street of the city of Manchester, home to the football club I have supported since a teenager (Manchester United).

I was with a dear Irish friend. As we were walking, I came across people standing by and holding placards, making noises and raising their voices. On the placards were distasteful, rude and insulting words describing certain leaders and politicians of another country. The people were name-calling these leaders with unflattering words such as “pigs”.

I have watched overseas demonstrations on television before, yet, at that moment I turned to my friend and ask him what was going on. His simple reply to me was: “freedom of speech”.

I remember very clearly, till this day, that I thought to myself there and then: “if this is democracy and this is what freedom of speech is about, then I don’t want democracy and freedom of speech”.

Well, ofcourse I do.

But I suppose what I really meant was I would not desire democracy and freedom of speech in the form that I witnessed that day. Obviously, every one of us are entitle to our own positions and views and I write this with no intent to damage the many overseas friendships that I have made and cherish over the years. But Singapore needs a democracy that is unique to her circumstances.

This is a major legacy that Mr Lee has left me and my fellow citizens. We can debate and disagree on policies and ideology. But we need to substantiate with facts and deliver in a respectable and honourably manner.

Singapore People’s Party secretary-general Mr Chiam See Tong put it best this way in his tribute yesterday when he said: “In Parliament, he clobbered me. But… I never lost my dignity or decorum.”

Mr Lee was often brutal with his words against political adversaries. But it was always with the interest of his beloved Singapore and never for person agenda or pride

Sometimes, his delivery may seem overzealous to many of us, but at the end of the day, he simply wanted a Singapore that would survive and thrive.

I cannot say that I am a die-heart fan of the political party Mr Lee founded and led. There are a number of policies and decisions that the government has made that I disagree with. Such as awarding licenses to Marina Bay Sands and Resorts World Sentosa to operate casinos in Singapore, the foreign sports talent scheme, the group representation constituency scheme, constant redrawing of electoral boundaries amongst others. I have also been less than comfortable about the issue of high ministerial salaries.

I would like to see a strong, credible and constructive opposition party arising and having candidates whose heartbeats are for the long-term welfare of Singapore (like Mr Lee) elected into parliament. Debate must happen but constructive through channels such as public forums or public offices.

This is a legacy we need to pass on to our next generation: to be passionate about Singapore, to dare to express their views on what kind of Singapore they would like, and to do so in the context of respect, having thought through issues carefully and within the legal framework instituted by our government.

Unfortunately, something has happened, which to my dismay, is fanning the attitude of utter disrespect particularly among the younger generation.

A police report has just been lodged over an anti-Lee Kuan Yew and Christianity online video supposedly made by one Amos Yee is a case in point.

Call it disruptive technology.

The internet is now the new electronic placard and is giving people the opportunity to make irresponsible and often even crude remarks about another individual. What makes matter worst are that many of these individuals believe that they can remain anonymous through creating dummy accounts.

The unique legacy that Mr Lee has left behind for Singapore must not be destroyed. Just as Mr Lee has led Singapore to progress from Third World to First in one generation, we the beneficiaries of his legacies can likewise degenerate this nation in a single generation.

Nevertheless, this past week was special.

We saw Singaporeans and perhaps even non-Singaporeans queuing by the thousands patiently to pay their last respect to Mr Lee. More than a million individuals have done so this past week at various memorial centres and at Parliament House

The overwhelming response has not only caught our government by surprised but has laid to rest the respect and honor the majority of Singaporeans have for Mr Lee. This past week, the majority has silenced the minority critics.

None of the Kiasu syndrome, which has been our more notorious side, was evident.

Singaporeans have been known to queue for sales and give-aways. But the longest queue in modern memory yet had been reserved to pay the last respect to Mr Lee.

And no angry queue cutting or scuffle was reported.

When the tsunami happened in Fukoshima Japan and we watch from television the calm and dignified response from the Japanese as they queued up for assistance, we marveled. This past week, we experienced that in the dignified and kind manner in which Singaporeans were treating each other.

Service staffs were putting in extra hours of work to enable Singaporeans to pay their tributes round the clock.

The National Courtesy Campaign which Mr Lee first launched in 1979 has been long forgotten. Yet this week, business and volunteers were showing kindness by distributing free drinks, snacks, shelters and even flower bouquets to those waiting in line.

And was it not a survey not too long ago which reported that Singapore is the most emotionless society in the world?

Gallup partner Jon Clifton was quoted by Bloomberg as saying. “If you measure Singapore by the traditional indicators, they look like one of the best-run countries in the world. But if you look at everything that makes life worth living, they’re not doing so well.”

Well, the past week, Singaporeans rubbished that survey result.

We saw open outpouring of emotion among young and old and Singaporean of different races. We saw people prostrating before Mr Lee’s casket in Parliament House. We saw people dashing across the street rushing to join the queue before the gate closed for the final time last night at 8pm. And the look of sheer disappointment for those who could not make it. I personally witnessed a business leader who had to pause in-between his speech to hold back his tears during a business community tribute.

We also witnessed tributes from former political foes like former Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad and former opposition Member of Parliament Mr Chiam See Tong. What a touching sight to see when Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong clasped the hands of the frail and wheel chair bound 80 year old Mr Chiam.

Even the two casinos, which I still oppose, will be shutting their business for four hours later today as a mark of respect to Mr Lee.

This week, a people put aside their political boundaries, ugly behavioral tendencies, preoccupation with making money and usual muted emotion to honor the man we call Father. Father of modern Singapore

In a blog post I published on 9 August 2014, I paid my tribute to Mr Lee:

Today’s Singapore is characterized by its clinically clean and green environment, efficiency of public services, iconic skyscrapers, wide choices be it in cuisine, entertainment or education and modern conveniences one can expect of a modern metropolis.

I ascribe our success in a relatively short span of time to the legacy of one man; visionary founding father of modern Singapore, former Prime Minister and Minister Mentor Mr Lee Kuan Yew. His vision was probably ahead of his peers when he said:

‘A faint hearted people would have given up long ago. We never gave in, never mind giving up. For that alone, we deserve to succeed. If we press on, in twenty years we shall build a great metropolis, worthy of a hardy, resilient and stout-hearted people.’ ~~ (Lee Kuan Yew in his National Day Speech, August 8 1972)

I believe that the Singapore of 2014 has advanced even beyond his wildest imagination.

No doubt, normalcy in Singapore will resume in the months ahead. Will we forget Mr Lee Kuan Yew?

Not a chance.

Will his legacy carry on?

It really depends on a lot of factors.

But one thing I do believe. We are a nation blessed by God. God has a wonderful plan and destiny for us.

Many Christian leaders in the past have prophesized that Singapore will be the Antioch of Asia. Takes another blog post to explain, but in short, Singapore will bring blessings to other nations in Asia.

We have been blessed to have had a leader in Mr Lee Kuan Yew. Mr Lee’s influence and impact extended globally. The Singapore model of industrialization have been replicated in many parts of Asia through the development of numerous business park projects and these countries have benefited from Singapore.

Most of us among the Christian circle deeply believe that Mr Lee Kuan Yew was not luck or chance but God had ordained Singapore to have such a unique leader as our Founding Prime Minister.

Indeed there will not be another Mr Lee Kuan Yew. He was practically a statistical outlier. Ofcouse, God will raise future leaders who will lead us politically. But Mr Lee was a blessing and so are his legacies.

There were three key lessons that stood out as for me as I watched the many documentaries about Mr Lee’s life this past week: his jealous protection of Singapore, his frugal lifestyle and his sacrifice and servanthood for his country.

Mr Lee would not tolerate any nonsense that would corrupt or destroy the nation he loved and he guarded the nation jealously.

He lived simply as an example for others to follow. To him, there were more important things in life to live for than to live for things.

But the biggest lesson of all:

He gave.

He gave his life to leave behind Singapore.

There are many Christian verses that teaches us about the importance of giving and serving:

“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ “

Act 20:35

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Mark 10:45

The life of Mr Lee has been an example to all Singaporeans on what it means to live a full life with no regrets.

It is not a life of accumulating materials things that we cannot take along once we pass on.

But it is what we leave behind, a legacy of blessings for the next generation. Just as our Lord Jesus Christ came to serve that we who are here today might live.

This past week, a people mourn for a man not because of his position of office. This week a people mourn for a man because they have lost a love one who truly believed in them.

Thank you Heavenly Father, for blessing this nation with Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

What Should Your Child Be Studying?

During the early 1990s, Singapore embarked on the IT2000 master-plan aimed at transforming the nation into an intelligent island, where information technology (IT) would permeate every aspect of our society – at home, work, and play. With this master-plan came a need to train up a substantial supply of computer programmers.

Under that context, many young students like me went on to pursue diplomas and degrees in computer studies that would have landed them with jobs in the promising IT industry.

Upon graduation and armed with a computer programming diploma awarded by a local Polytechnic, I realized that I neither had the interest nor the aptitude for computer science. I went on to pursue a career in sales and marketing and since then, had never had to apply what I learned from my computer studies.

The path that I have taken is what the Singapore government would term as a “leakage” where young graduates go on to pursue careers that are considerably different from their field of studies.

“Leakages” should be minimized because the investment of national resources would have failed to earn the intended returns. Furthermore, the individuals would have spent a number of years of their lives unhappy and unfulfilled studying fields that they neither enjoy nor are good at. The misery would be extended if they actually go on to pursue careers in those fields.

In August last year, during a dialogue session with students pertaining to the necessity of a university degree in Singapore, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong commented that a university degree need not be the only route to a fulfilling career for young Singaporeans.

Every parent would like their child to succeed in life and a good education has always been viewed as a passport to latter successes in life.

The question then is: what should your child be studying?

Prime Minister Lee’s comments contained two key words that provide a good guide in helping parents mentor their children on what they should pursue in their lives and consequently the knowledge and skills that they should acquire to support these pursuits: interest and aptitude.

If our children pursue fields in which they have interests in but do not possess the innate aptitude or talents for them, then they would not go very far and their interests should at best remain as their recreations.

On the other hand, if our children pursue what they are talented at but have limited interests, then perhaps they need to change their mind-sets. Otherwise they may end up to be successful to some extend but live largely unfulfilled lives. If they cannot change their mind-sets, then they should explore something else where they have both the interests and the talents.

In their early growing-up years, it would be important to expose your children to a variety of experiences and subject matters to help them discover their interests. Overtime, their interests and dominant strengths would surface.

There are many well-developed psychometric assessment tools that are useful to help your children to discover their dominant strengths. My personal favourite tool is the Gallup StrengthsFinder. Every child is born with their own unique strengths that are not likely to change drastically over time after a certain age. Helping your children to discover their strengths are important to help them to focus, an important ingredient for success.

When our children are able to do what they love and what they are good at every day, they are more likely to grow up to be confident, fulfilled and productivity adults.

How often have we heard of seemingly successful professionals such as lawyers and doctors making drastic mid-career changes to pursue second careers that have little to do with their past educations and experiences? It turns out that a number of these individuals where in actual fact trying to fulfill their parents’ dreams rather than their own. It is not surprising that at some points, they will experience burnouts or disillusions.

Our role as parents is to help our children to discover their own uniqueness rather than carrying on our own dreams or helping to fulfill our own unrealized dreams.

What about the current job market? What if our children have very niche pursuits with limited opportunities in Singapore?

The answer again lies in what has already been mentioned. We are most productive when we do what we love and what we are best at. While there is a need to be aware and even adapt to the changing macro-environment, our children should not even attempt to become who they are obviously not for the sole reason of pursuing current job opportunities. Otherwise, they will ultimately be added to the unhappy “leakages” statistics.

The world today is a global village especially with the help of advanced and simple to use communications technologies. Opportunities are aplenty beyond our shores should your child’s interest be so niche that limited prospects are available in Singapore.

Besides focusing on acquiring the in-depth knowledge in the fields that match both their interests and strengths, there are other broad areas of knowledge and life-skills which in my view are necessary to support the success of our children. While they do not need to become specialists in these areas if these are not their chosen fields to focus on, our children should at least acquire fundamental understanding and competencies in areas such as accounting and financial literacy, negotiation skills, ethics and social responsibilities, business law, communications, public speaking, health and nutrition among others. These knowledge and skills can be acquired through a broad variety of channels such as workshops and conferences, books, videos, clubs and Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) where free educational materials and videos are made available through the internet by providers as Coursera and a number of top universities.

One of the recent developments in the education scene in Singapore that I am particularly delighted with is seeing the implementation of one of the recommendations by The Applied Study in Polytechnics and ITE Review (Aspire) committee: better career guidance for students, which in my opinion is long over-due.

The Ministry of Education is gearing up this capability through training career guidance counselors who will be supporting this initiative starting from the Secondary Schools onward. The Republic Polytechnic has also recently launched a Specialists Diploma in Career Guidance to train a pool of course counselors. These developments are absolutely in the right direction for the benefit of our young people.

However, we need to remember that the people who will have the greatest and most lasting impact on these young people are their parents. As parents, we need to take the personal responsibility and ownership to mentor our children to become who they are uniquely wired to be. And not what we would like them to become.

There can be no better substitutes to our commitments as parents to mould our children in the way they should go.

“Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible (AMP)

Keep On Keeping On – A Champions Mindset

Recently, I picked up the following book from the bookstore:

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With the subtitle, “How to hit your business, personal and financial targets with confidence and certainty”, I just could not resist.

This book discusses on topics likes having good habits, building on your natural talents, seeing the big picture, eliminating fears and worries, building excellent relationships, taking decisive actions, finding your purpose etc.

So far, the chapter that resonates with me most is the chapter on “Overcoming Setbacks”.

In this chapter, an inspiring story is being recounted on the life of W Mitchell. I am going to reproduce it here verbatim:

Our friend W. Mitchell certainly wasn’t expecting his life to change dramatically as an outgoing young man who loved his job as a grip man on the famous San Francisco cable cars. At age twenty-eight, he was good looking, single and enjoyed daily interaction with the tourists. Mitchell had a couple of specific goals he was working on. One was to obtain his pilots’ license and the other was to buy a beautiful big Honda motorcycle. Finally, he reached the point where these two goals came to fruition in one memorable day.

That day, after completing several flying lessons, was the day he got to fly solo – no instructor, just himself, the plane and a big sky to explore. Mitchell completed his flight, no problem, and was exhilarated after a successful landing. He then enjoyed a leisurely ride on his new shiny motorcycle into town. What a day this was turning out to be!

While going through a green light at an intersection, Mitchell didn’t see the laundry truck that smashed into him, hurling him and his motorcycle underneath the vehicle. In seconds the gas cap came off and the mixture if fuel and heat ignited Mitchell in a ball of fire. He would have died if not for the brave intervention of a car salesman standing at the corner, who ran furiously from the dealership with a fire extinguisher and put out the flames. Mitchell was rushed to the hospital with serious injuries. His face had been burned off and his hands were reduced to stumps. A life that had looked so promising had almost been snuffed out in seconds. Several months ensued during which Mitchell experienced a very painful and slow rehabilitation process. Plastic surgery was required to rebuild his face. The burns to his body were so severe that wearing any sort of clothing was torturous to his sensitive skin.

But, despite all of this, Mitchell was alive. There were other challenging situations such as school children taunting him with cried of “Monster! Monster!” as he walked by the school yard. Mitchell had a new life, a very different one from his original dreams and aspirations.

He moved to a little town in Colorado called Crested Butte and by sheer determination managed to get his private pilot’s license restored. So life was getting better. Mitchell went into business with two friends and started Vermont Castings, ironically a wood burning stove company! The business was very successful and Mitchell became chairman of the Board. One cold, crisp winter day, four and a half years after the fiery crash in San Francisco, Mitchell took a few friends for a ride in a plane. However, just after the aircraft lifted into the air, Mitchell knew something was wrong; the plane wasn’t flying properly. It stalled, meaning the wings actually stopped flying, and instead of Mitchell being able to make an emergency landing, the plane just fell back onto the runway. Fearing fire, he urged his passengers to get out quick, which they did, but the pain in Mitchell’s back prevented him from joining them. It turned out he was paralyzed and was told he’d never walk again!

- Source: Canfield, J, Hansen, M. V, Hewitt, L, 2013. The Power of Focus. SA: Vermilion.

Mitchell had to overcome not one but two major tragic accidents. The average person would have given up the fight. Mitchell not only picked himself up, he went on to be elected as mayor, hosted his own radio show and is today an inspiring international speaker. See the rest of Mitchell’s amazing story here:

Mitchell’s inspiring story was not the only one in this chapter. Another outstanding individual, coincidentally also with the family name Mitchell, also had to grapple with intense battles on multiple fronts and finally came up on top and her story is also retold in the chapter. You’ll have to invest in the Power of Focus to read her story!

We need to accept that life is not always a bed of roses. We will inevitable be faced with challenges somewhere along the way. Some will be more difficult than others.

We need to expect the unexpected and have the mental resolve to face these challenges.

In the past, I tried to shun troubles as much as I could and chased after the elusive trouble-free and peaceful life. The only thing I managed to attract was more stress and internal turmoil. Interestingly, when I began to accept that troubles are realities of our earthly lives and we are to handle them as they come along, I actually became more relaxed.

The bible has this to say about the troubles and storms in our lives:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:22, The Holy Bible

The bible also instruct on the attitude that we should adopt and the ultimate purposes of challenges in our lives:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know hat the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4 The Holy Bible

As we read about the great men and women of history, one common theme stands out: all of these individual needed to face and overcome adversities in their lives.

True champions are individuals who have had to surmount obstacles and get back up when they fell.

As we father our children to become champions in their individual spheres, we need to mentor them to become over-comers of difficulties. As responsible parents, we need to build spirits of positiveness in them and mentor them so that they are not caught by surprises when troubles do strike.

To walk with them and even carry them when they have to journey through the valleys of life. And to educate them of the challenges that the world at large is going through using books, documentaries, the newspapers and life experiences.

The greatest concern of any parent is the physical safety of our children. None of us would want our children to go through what W. Mitchell had to go through.

However, our children today are living in a world that is becoming more difficult all round.

Do not overprotect your children from the hash realities of life. Take the time and effort to build in your children perseverance and resilience. Inculcate in them the wisdom to handle difficulties. They need the mentoring and it is our responsibilities to provide them.

A New Year, A New Path For Mike

A new year brings with it opportunities for us to start something different.

For our eldest son, Mike, he started on something boldly different for his education.

My wife, Mike and myself collectively made a decision to pull him out of the public school system after the end of his secondary 3 education last year.

After 9 years of trying to cope with the regime of school work and examinations, it came to a point at the end of last year that we all concluded that the public school system was just not working out for Mike.

He was thoroughly unhappy with his academic studies even though he enjoyed his CCAs such as going for the outward bound course, performing at the National Day Parade and even gain a level of success emceeing during school events.

Studying had become a chore for him with little understanding of its purpose beyond passing the examinations. School in his own word had become a “prison” to him.

Bottom-line, Mike had hit-a-wall with his studies despite all-out efforts and exhausting all helps we could give to him over the years.

During the final week of October 2013, I was attending a T Harv Eker Millionaire Mindset Workshop organized by Success Resources. On the second evening, as I listened to the presentation on the mindset that one should have in achieving success in life (and not just about making money), it dawned on me that there are many important life skills that are just not sufficiently taught in school. Investing and money management skill is just one of them. And, there are also other paths besides the public education route for an individual to be educated.

For some reasons, I decided there and then that my wife and I should seriously reconsider an educational option for Mike which we had explored for him when he was about 3-4 years old: homeschooling.

What unfolded from then on was rather interesting. Looking back, we can only construe that God had connected the dots together for us.

In August last year, I had networked with a nice gentleman at my workplace during a company event. We continued to keep in touch afterwards and I later came to learn that his daughter was being homeschooled.

So that second evening at the workshop that I was attending, I sent him a message asking for details about the homeschooling system that his daughter was pursuing. He immediately connected me to his church friend, a mother of 3 homeschooled children, whom he felt could explained the system to me better.

Since I was busy with paying attention at the workshop (gotta take care of my own education too!), I messaged my wife to speak with this mother about homeschooling as a option for Mike.

“Coincidentally”, a thought had crossed my wife’s mind that very same day: “there could be other pathways for Mike and homeschooling was one possibility.” We had not seriously discussed about homeschooling for quite a while. Needless-to-say, she was pleasantly surprised by my message.

The two ladies spoke over the phone that night and about 45 minutes into the conversation, both ladies then realized that they actually knew each other as they had been colleagues (working in the church that my wife and I attend) 15 years ago!

Another remarkable realization was that the US-based homeschooling system that all their children are using, Accelerated Christian Education (ACE), was the same system that my wife and I had previously considered for Mike when he was 3-4 years old.

In a nutshell, after reviewing the ACE materials together with Mike, getting Mike to speak with the eldest of the 3 homeschooled children, discussion with Mike’s school Principal and teacher about his situation in school (which would need another blog post for another time), a dinner conversation with my ex-colleague from the US (who was visiting Singapore at the time we were considering) whose 6 kids are all being home-schooled, talking with my colleague who was homeschooled using the same system and ofcourse prayers, we made the decision to let Mike take the road-less-traveled path of being homeschooled.

Mike has since started on the programme after returning from our family holiday in Malaysia in late December. He has been making steady progress with a jointly agreed daily timetable which includes time for exercise, meeting with friends, hobbies as well as pursuing his 8-months long theater workshop (again, another blog post required).

So school uniform for Mike now is T-shirt and shorts (not unlike home-based entrepreneurs!) and classroom is now our family dining area.

Taking this decision has not been easy to say the least. It’s unconventional whether in the US or even more so in the paper-chase mad Singapore context. The pressure to conform to social normal and expectations is strong. For a start, my own father and in-laws are probably still clueless about how a boy in Singapore today can stay away from school and not take the national examinations.

But yet I have since realized that there is actually quite an active and well connected homeschooling community in Singapore. In fact, there are children who started homeschooling since pre-kindergarten and these kids have never had a day of public institutionalized schooling.

It has taken almost twelve years for us to come to this decision for Mike since we first explore the system. Even though I had always been somewhat of a non-conformist and even maverick since I was a kid, I was not ready to take this less-traveled route for Mike previously. After all, this is my son’s education in a country where many parents would not think twice about paying large sums of money to ensure that their child gain top grades in the national examinations.

Yet, my wife and I finally decided that this path would likely better benefit Mike.

It was Albert Einstein who said: ” Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” We had to take a different course of action.

What’s reassuring is to look back at how God had engineering the sequence of events and brought the right people into our path making the right conversations and at the perfect timing.

Indeed, “in his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) And, “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not about to propose that every parents should therefore pull their children out of school and be homeschooled.

Every child is unique and bestowed with different talents and learning styles.

I believe that in spite of the challenges in our ever-evolving public education system, many children can thrive in the system and we still do have a very robust public system with passionate educators. The fact of the matter is that many have benefited from our public schools and gone on to contribute to society tremendously.

At the same time, we have since come to know of parents who are totally convinced by the homeschooling system for a variety of reasons. I hope to have the opportunities to interview them through this blog. For our other two boys, we will decide which route will better suite them according to their bent after their PSLE examinations.

Mike is excited about this new journey that he is taking and is not looking back. Beside the core subjects that he will have to study, he will also have the freedom to choose to study subjects that he will love and can do well in.

With the more flexible timing, he will be able to pursue his acting passion. I can now expose him to other life changing events and experiences that he would otherwise not have the time to do so.

My ex-colleague whose 6 kids are homeschooled told us that it will likely be difficult at first for new starters and probably take up to a year or so to get the pieces together.

But we have been blessed with great advice and support so far.

15 Minutes To Discovering Your Child’s Talents

Your child is unique and is born with a combination of natural talents that no one else on this planet is likely to have in exactness.

If you are a parent of twins, I believe that you will agree each of the pair is unique in his/her own ways.

As parents, we have the responsibilities to be good stewards of our children and their talents.

We need to help develop our children in the way that they are uniquely designed by helping them discover their talents and invest resources at our disposal to develop these talents.

The worst thing we can do as parents is to have a one-size-fits-all approach in raising our children. For example, we should not adopt the mentality that because we were raise in a particular manner during our childhood, therefore our children should be raised in the same manner as well.

Firstly, the environment has changed since our childhood and what may use to be “right” in the past may no longer be relevant.

Secondly, while we are grateful to our parents for raising us, their methods were probably passed down from their own parents and are very likely be far from perfect,

Thirdly, the notion that our children need to be all-rounders and be as good as other children will do more harm than good. See this interesting quote by Albert Einstein:

Today, we have at our disposal a wealth of information on parenting skills supported by robust research. We should therefore be proactive and put aside our own prejudices and be opened to continuously learn better parenting techniques.

I believe that as parents, most of us can agree with what I have shared so far.

However, I have discovered through conversations with fellow parents that one major road block to helping our children develop their talents is that most of us are at a loss of how to do so.

Our journey has probably been a series of trials and errors.

You may have already invested much money only to discover that your child is either totally not interested or have very limited talents in those areas that he/she has tried.

I once had a discussion with a life coach and commented that some individuals seem to know their talents and life calling from a very young age such as being musicians, lawyers or doctors. He commented that some of these may have been due to parental expectations and hence you see some of them changing their careers paths drastically at some point in their lives to pursue what they really love and are good at.

How much better if we are able to help our children to discover their natural talents at a young age and to help them develop their talents accordingly.

I soon realized that the key to staring this journey is to have a system to do so.

Without a system, our efforts will be at best random and haphazard. Our aspiration to help our children need to be supported by a proven system.

Recently, I came across a useful system known as the Gallup StrengthsExplorer.

The Gallup StrengthsExplorers is a well-researched and tested online assessment tool that helps children between the ages of 10-14 to discover their natural talents. StrengthsExplore is a children’s version of the similar tool developed for adults known as the Gallup StrengthsFinders. See my previous post on StrengthsFinders here.

The philosophy behind StrengthsExplorers is that if we as parents focus on developing our children’s talents instead of just trying to fix their weaknesses, they will began an exciting journey towards doing the things that they truly love and can excel in.

As a result, they will be happier, more confident and successful as individuals. Their health and social relationships will also improve.

We are not totally ignoring their areas of weaknesses. We should continue to help them manage their weaknesses so that they become less weak in those areas. However, we should be investing most of our resources in developing their talents so that these talents become strengths.

You child is a star and not round. The pointed edges of a star represent your child’s strengths. Develop the pointed edges so that they become sharper. The valley represents his/her weaknesses. Manage them so that they are less deep.

Help your child become a star and to achieve greatness according to their natural bent.

The StrengthsExplorer online assessment consists of 78 questions and should take no more than 15 minutes for your child to complete.

With an ambitious vision to have 1 billion people take the Strengths online assessments, Gallup is currently offering the assessments at very affordable cost of only USD$9.99. You can make the purchase here.

Upon completion of the assessment, your child will receive a report that reveals his/her top 3 talents and recommends action plans that he/she can take. The report is accompanied by a workbook which you can guide your child to complete. The workbook will help your child to think about how he/she can use his/her talents immediately and in the future.

You will also receive a parent’s workbook. This mirrors the workbook that your child receives. The is to enable you to compare your perception of your child with that of your child’s and to help you see his/her talents in a different light. I encourage you to take immediate actions to develop your child. Learn more here.

Fathering Champions stands by a simple 3-step approach to achieving massive success for young champions and the people in their lives: 1) Aspiration, 2) System and 3) Action

You aspire to help your child achieve huge success and live a happy and fulfilling life through doing things that he/she loves and is good at. The StrengthsExplorer is a simple and yet extremely useful system to help you to start this journey.

However, I often find that majority of people never achieve the kind of success that they could achieve simply because they fail to take immediate action.

Take immediate action now and help your child discover his/her talents. Click here to start.

If you would like to be kept updated on future StrengthsExplorer’s events, articles and workshops through Fathering Champions, sign up to be on our free StrengthsExplorer subscription list here.

I will be publishing a blog post on what I discovered about my 3 boys’ talents through completing the StrengthsExplorer assessment.

Know Yourself; Know Your Environment; Know Your Values

Last Saturday, I had the privilege to give a speech to a group of graduating students.

Apparently, my speech was well received and touched a cord with many members of the audience. I had a student and a parent who came up to me afterwards to thank me for the inspiring message. Among other appreciative students and lecturers, one lecturer even requested for the transcript of the speech for her daughter whom she felt would be inspired by the content.

This being the case, I thought I might as well share it here also:

“Dear graduands, you are the stars of today’s event. We are here today to celebrate your achievements.

As I was preparing this speech for you, I asked myself this question: ‘If I am at your age again, what would I focus on?’

On that note, please allow me to share with you 3 thoughts for you to consider as you celebrate another milestone in your life. Do not accept everything that I am about share, but I submit to you to consider some of the key ideas.

Number One: Know Yourself

Get know who you are. I will say it again; get to know who you really, really are. What is your interest and passion? What makes you come alive? What gets you to jump out of bed every day even on a Monday morning? Do you know what you are talented at?

I strongly believe that every one of you sitting here today is born with talents. Talents are a combination of our inborn and recurring patterns of thought, feeling and behaviour. Some of you are natural with relating to people. Some of you are more comfortable working with numbers and data. Some of you are deep thinkers. Some of you prefer to work according to processes and structure.

I urge you to invest the time and perhaps money to discover what your talents are and to make the effort to develop your talents and turn them into strengths. Your strengths are the unique combination of talents, knowledge, and skills.

With a couple of talented students who performed at the graduation ceremony

Learn to appreciate who you are and do not be afraid to be different from the so-called mainstream. Choose your further education and personal development by taking into consideration not only your interest but also your talents.

Many people go through their entire lives not really knowing what makes them unique and therefore not are living up to their maximum potential.

Do not simply rely on others to make decisions for you or just flow along with whatever opportunities that may come alone. Live your life with intention, focus and according to your unique design.

According to a survey, 76% of workers in Singapore are disengaged with their work. This is one of the highest rates of disengagement in the world. When you live your live according to your design, chances are you become more engaged in every aspects of your life.

At the beginning of this speech, I described you as the stars of today’s event. What is a star? A star has pointed edges and valleys. The pointed edges represent your talents. The valleys represent your weaknesses. The key to success is to manage your valley so that they are not too deep and focus on developing your pointed edges.

Just by trying to fix your weakness alone is not going to help you achieve greatness. Fixing your weaknesses will only make you averagely good or not so weak.

Larry Bird, a former NBA basketball star with the Boston Celtics said: ‘a winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals.’

There is no one else in this world exactly like you. So get to know you and become the star you are meant to be.

Number Two: Know Your Environment

Today, the world today is changing at a very fast pace. To be successful in this ultra-fast changing world: you need to constantly adapt, reinvent yourself, learn, unlearn and re-lean so that you continue to remain relevant.

Do not be comfortable with what you have always been used to doing and remain stagnant. Have the courage to stretch your limits and explore the areas that may be unknown to you. Learn not only to embrace change, but also to foresee change and lead the change.

Some of the subjects you have studied in your Diploma education are fundamentals and will always be relevant no matter how much the world changes. However, there are subjects that may completely change in a couple of years down the road. One example is mass communications and media studies.

I came across an interesting 2006 journal from the University of Alberta by an author named Phil McRae. The title of the journal is “The Death of Television and the Birth of Digital Convergence: (Re)shaping Media in the 21 st Century.”

Allow me to quote directly from the abstract:

‘Television is not ‘television’ anymore. It is a complex and rapidly evolving medium that is moving from a space defined by broadcast to one struggling for interactivity, mobility and digital convergence. The very nature of this digital convergence is occurring at breakneck speed, so fast in fact that this revolution in entertainment will not be ‘televised’. It may be suggested that with the advent of the Internet, television is increasingly being identified as a push technology geared only for the masses and lacking personal (and democratic) choice. Indeed, recent North American research confirms that experienced Internet users are sacrificing their television viewing time for that of the Internet.’

Therefore, you need to constantly update your knowledge and skills in your chosen niche and become a bigger and better you.

Number Three: Know Your Values

While our world may be rapidly changing, there is one area in your life that should remain a constant and be an anchor in everything that you do. These are your values. Values are your principles or standards of behaviour; your judgement of what is important in life.

What is truly important in your life? All of us have but one life and believe it or not life pass by very quickly. I am 45 years old this year. 45 years probably sound like a very long time to some of you. When I was your age, I thought so too. Today standing here and looking back, these 45 years seem to have passed by in a blink of an eye. It’s like I have been teleported from where you are sitting to where I am standing instantly. Sometimes, I have panic attacks just thinking about how fast life pass by.

Realizing that our life is short and at some point our journey in this world will come to an end is to me a useful exercise to help us to consider what are truly important in our lives. I would like to propose to you two values that we should seriously consider.

The first is living a life of integrity.

You may have read in newspapers of very successful man or women who have become very wealthy and famous but through dishonest means such as exploiting the money of the ignorant, evading taxes that they should have paid, cheating or taking bribes and are now serving prison sentences. Others engaged in immoral behavours and have caused deep hurt to their family.

The problem lies not in wealth and fame. But, in your quest for success, however you define success for yourself, do not compromise on your integrity. Pay attention to your daily habits, such as what you say; whether they are truths or half-truths and how you treat other people. Your habits reflect your values. It is very easy to be tempted by what the world can offer. None of us is immune. Therefore, we need to pay close attention to our daily habits.

There is a wise saying in the Christian holy book that goes something like this: ‘What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet lose their soul?’

The second value to consider is showing gratitude to others.

Do not forget the people who have helped you become successful. Whether they are friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues, bosses, ex-bosses or family members.

Yes, even ex-bosses. My first boss was very demanding. But I learned some of the best lessons in life from him. He once told us the story of the eagle. Till this day, I cannot substantiate this story with scientific evidences. Perhaps he invented the story and tried to pull a fast one on us. But it was nonetheless a nice story:

“The eagle is a majestic creature. Every once in a while, other birds will fly towards it and try to rattle the eagle and unsettle it. Guess what the eagle will do? It will defy gravity by rocketing upwards and then swish down towards the birds and ripe them in halves! No, that is not how the story went. The eagle will actually soar upwards higher and higher until the other birds are left far behind.”

What is the moral of this story? It is about excellence isn’t it? When you know your strengths and use them; and live a life of integrity, no one can find faults with you.

Today, many of you have come with your family members. You may be the stars of today’s event. But your family members are really your unsung heroes. Please appreciate them for their sacrifices and contributions in helping you attain your achievements today. Some of your families may not be here today for whatever reasons, appreciate them by sending them a message to express your gratitude later on today.

You should realized that both the values of living a life of integrity and showing gratitude to others focus on others rather than yourself. This is not a question of being an introvert or extrovert. But in this life, we are not meant to live only for ourselves but to serve others.

To conclude, I would like to remind you again that you have but one life. Discover who you are. Adapt to your environment. Stand firm on your values. And you will live your life with little regrets.

I wish you all the best. Thank You.”