Men will understand this perfectly:
Competing demands of meeting datelines and bottom-lines at the office; managing the household expenses; ensuring enough money is put aside for children’s education fund, insurances and retirement; caring for aging parents; planning for the family’s vacation; share of household chores especially if his spouse is also working; social engagements to maintain friendships; business networking obligations; meeting his spouse’s needs; and ofcourse making time for the children.
Faced with these typical responsibilities screaming for attention and sometimes all at once, all these can put a strain on your time with your child.
Yet as a father, you and I know how crucial it is to spend quality and consistent time together with our child to strengthen the bond between parent and child.
Children who spend quality time with their parents (and especially dads) are often more confident, happier and adapt better in schools.
Therefore it’s important that you do spend as much time as possible with your child in a relaxed atmosphere and do things together that you both enjoy.
With very young Mike and Caleb
And during those times, be with your child mind, body and soul. Children can sense it when your body is there but not the rest of you.
As a man, you have many roles to play: as a husband; a father; a child; a subordinate and a superior; a friend; perhaps even a church leader; a student for those pursuing further education or community leader.
So, you’re asking yourself, “Where am I going to find the time?!” And minus the time your children spend in school, extra-curricular activities, tuition and enrichment classes, there really is not much time left.
For something as important as your child, you will just need to be creative and determined to find the time and make them count.
It is a question of making it a priority.
Here’s some helpful suggestions on how to make the most of your time and find quality time where you least expect it.
Review your to-do list and decide which ones can be left undone or be done imperfectly in order to make more family time. Consider leaving certain tasks until after your child has gone to bed to make the most of your time together.
Another key is integration.
Turn some of your daily routines together into special moments. Make that drive to and from school a great opportunity to discuss what’s happening in your child’s life. Those may be unexpected opportunities to impart life’s important lessons in a non-threatening manner. Or train your child how to select healthier products while at the supermarket together.
Growing and with Joseph added to the equation
If you have more than one child like me, remember that each of them needs your individual attention. Make special separate appointments with each of them. You may really have to juggle things around to make this happen, but do be flexible and creative when spending time with each of your kids.
And no matter what, don’t skip those individual times with each child. By doing so you show them they’re of less priority than your other pre-occupations.
Children thrive on stability and routines, so plan your quality times so that they can take place regularly.
Maybe you can take breakfast together during weekend morning, swim, jog or play a sports together, have a scheduled night each week for a sit-down dinner together, periodically visit to the park or beach and even take road trips and holidays. They need not be expensive. I have found that children can be easily contented and have simple fun.
Recently,we went on a road trip with another family to Malaysia and along the way, the kids had great fun just playing hide and seek among a tea plantation in Cameron Highland!
Some of the fondest memories I have with my own father were simple ones: a kiss on my forehead from dad one night before I slept; taking me to bookshops to buy books (I still have a particular picture dictionary with me till this day in good condition – it was the only copy left when we bought it); taking me to the movies to watch blockbusters like Star Wars and ET the Extra-Terrestrial (my father had to join long queues to purchase the tickets); taking me and my late mother to holiday in Malaysia and Thailand, etc. He was very busy at work and we were not very well-off but my farther made the effort.
Remember that our children grow up fast!
Miss their growing up years and they can never be recovered. A meaningful quote I recently came across say: “You don’t get the same moment twice in life”.
In a blink of an eye, your children have become teens or young adults; their toys and tiny clothing have been given away; you see less and less of them in their bedrooms; the house has become quieter and the backseat of your car clean and empty.
Treasure every moment you have with your child today, even imperfect days and days of mayhem. Soon, they will only become fond memories.
Getting peculiar ideas about fashion.