This website may primarily be addressing fathers. But make no mistake; our wives play indispensable and complementary roles with us in raising confident children.
This is not to discount that single fathers can successfully raise their children. But most will share their tremendous challenges in trying to fill the mother’s role as well to their children.
We fathers are always pushing our children to take risks, run further, climb higher, go faster. Our wives on the other hand are the protectors of our children. They are the ones concern about their emotional, physical and spiritual safety and well-being. Slow down, be careful, watch out are their common vocabulary.
I know this because I was once chided by my eight year old’s mother for allowing him to run eleven rounds around the sports stadium. “That’s damaging for an eight year old”! I later found that out to be true.
Whenever any of my sons experienced some pains be it emotional or physical, I would be the one to say “get up and move on” while their mother would be comforting and assuring.
Without fathers, many children will probably grow up with courage deficiency. Without mothers, I just wonder how many of them will end up with broken limbs or even be alive!
Just as mum cannot replace fathers, father cannot effectively play the roles of mothers. The fictional character Dorothy on the TV show The Golden Girls once said: “It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”
As humans, we have a natural instinct to yearn for our mothers for comfort, and assurance when hurting. Soldiers in war have been known to cry out for their mothers when hurt or dying from wound.
Children look to their fathers as heroic role models. But it is mothers that children go to for emotional solace.
In a sense, fathers and mothers showcase a complete image of God. Fathers present God as a might warrior: “But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior; so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail…” (Jeremiah 20:11). On the other hand, mothers present the nurturing and caring side of God: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings,…(Luke 13:34)
I recall the time when my eldest son met with an accident. It was I, at one point in the hospital, who gave him a rhetoric William “Braveheart” Wallace-like pep talk to pump up his confidence during his lowest moments. And it helped. And yet throughout the recovery period, it was mum whom he turned to for emotional attention. It was mum he wanted to gently tend to his wounds.
Thus the call is for husbands to show gratitude to and honor our wives for their partnership in raising our young champions to become confident leaders for tomorrow. And here’s seven simple and yet powerful suggestions:
- Appreciate her efforts, take notice of the little things she does and thank her often, for example, for cooking a wonderful family meal.
- Devote time each day to talk. Institute it as a regular and habitual event such as nightly chat over Camomile tea in the living room after the children have gone to bed.
- Hear her concerns for the children and offer reassurance and commitment to help.
- Share the household chores and give her breaks to do what she likes.
- Give her special threats, not just on special occasions but as surprises.
- Come home from work early, give priority attention to her and the children. The iPhone, newspaper and TV programmes will have to take their queue numbers.
- Teach the children to appreciate and respect their mother. Discipline them immediately and firmly whenever they show any signs of disrespect (no matter how minor) towards their mother.
Mothers are the unsung hero of our next generation.
Author and university professor Jane Sellman wrote: “The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.” American comedian and actor Milton Berle once said: “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
Watch this witty video and decide if you agree with the message:
To all mothers, Happy Mother’s Day, you deserve this wish EVERYDAY!
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverb 31:10-31
Taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version.